My Room Mate Is a Super Villain (Amongst Other Things)
by mybarricadeboys1
Summary: Series of one shots about Loki hiding from S.H.E.I.L.D. in Clint's daughter's apartment, and them, of course, slowly falling in love. Rated M for language. Loki X OC, please please review if you like it cause it makes me write more and if lots of people like it I'll develop it into a big fic
1. Second Chances

**A/N: I really needed to write this but I didn't want to try and finish off a big fic because that's not my strong point, so I'm writing this out as a series of one-shots and maybe I'll put them in a big juicy fic if this proves popular. Which it won't. Quick preface – Loki's escaped from Asgard but has used up most of his power in doing so, and is being pursued by S.H.E.I.L.D. agents through New York when he stumbles upon the house of Ariadne Barton, and asks her if he can take refuge with her. Have fun reading and please review because reviews make me write! **

Loki stumbled down the alleyway, breath coming out in short painful bursts thanks to his bruised – or even broken – ribs. Growling with frustration, he leant against the wall, eyes fluttering closed from exhaustion. If he had his powers, he thought, he would destroy those meddling Midgardian idiots where they stood. But he didn't, or at least, he didn't have enough power to hold them off. He was as weak as a child against those infernal S.H.E.I.L.D. agents.

He heard shouts and footsteps nearing the corner and wracked his brains for somewhere to hide. He shifted through memories of New York, but he didn't remember any safe place out of the areas he had seen. However...he did know of one place...

Loki himself might not know New York, but Clint Barton did. When he'd controlled him, he had also had a unique insight into his thoughts and his memories. His daughter lived not far from here, Loki noted, sifting through the borrowed memories. He shook his head. The girl would never take him in; Loki was her father's enemy. He had taken him from her, controlled him and nearly broken his mind. Ariadne would hate him.

But she was his only choice. He didn't know much of her, only memories of a little blonde toddler clinging to her mother's leg, then a pretty ten year old sipping milkshake opposite Barton, swinging her legs and moving awkwardly through the conversation, then a slim, shapely teenager yelling and slamming the front door, makeup spread over her face as she sobbed in anguish. Finally, a girl in her twenties, face etched with grief as she leaned in for comforting hug. Loki pulled out of Barton's memories, shaken. She clearly had a rocky relationship with her father. Could he use that to his advantage?

The sounds of pursuit grew nearer. He had no choice. He had to find Ariadne Barton.

Stumbling forward as fast as he could, he rounded one corner then another, trying to reconcile his surroundings with Barton's memories. Finally, he leaned against the strange and yet also familiar green door, the one he'd seen slamming in his – no, _Barton's_ – face.

He tried the door handle but it was locked. Obviously. Even Midgardians aren't stupid enough to leave their front doors completely open for anyone. He knocked cautiously, looking over his shoulder for any signs of his pursuers.

The door opened and he was face to face with Clint Barton's daughter.

She gazed at him, eyes clouded over with confusion. She was undoubtedly very beautiful – her hair was more blonde than Barton's, slightly wavy and pushed back from her face, swept over one shoulder. Her large hazel eyes were framed by thick, long lashes and her rosebud lips were parted, the ghost of a question on them.

"Who...the hell are you? You're not that guy...Loki? The one who trashed my city?"

Loki ran a hand through his hair. How to play this, to make him the victim?

"I...um...yes, I am. Can I first apologise for that, and, uh..."

Damn this girl! He kept noticing the flecks of blue and green in her hazel eyes and he couldn't talk straight. What was wrong with him?

"Apologise! Seriously? That's a total joke. What the fuck are you doing here anyway?"

"Please, I need somewhere to hide. It is very urgent, I can't explain..."

"Whoa, whoa, back up. _You_ – want to hide – _here_? In _my_ house? From what, like, _S.H.E.I.L.D_? My dad's people?"

Loki nodded. Thank the Allfather she understood. Or, maybe not him. Someone else.

She laughed in a short, mirthless burst. "Uh. No. Bye!"

She went to close the door, but in desperation he put his hand on it. "No, please, you don't understand." He made his voice pleading, widened his eyes so they glistened a little, like they were filling with tears, and laced his voice with what little magic he had left.

"They'll kill me if they find me." A lie, obviously. They would lock him up somewhere very deep and dark, which he didn't particularly fancy. But Loki was, after all, the God of Lies.

The girl halted, pressing her lips together in a tight line. "Right. And...this would piss my dad off a ton, right?"

"Well," said Loki haltingly, unsure of the direction this conversation was taking, "It would make him angry, I suppose...why is this a contributing factor, again?"

"Because I'm really sick of my dad thinking he owns me, that he's so much better than me. Even though I'm twenty years old and he was barely around for most of those years."

"...I know the feeling. Of resenting fathers. My father and I don't see...eye to eye about a lot of things."

Ariadne nodded slowly. "OK...I guess maybe you can stay as long as you...I don't know, apologise again for trashing New York."

"I am deeply sorry for that."

She narrowed her eyes. "I don't think you mean it. Yet. Maybe one day you will, and because of that I'll let you stay. My mom..." he voice cracked a little. "My mom says – said – that everyone deserves a second chance. Even mass-murdering fuckheads like you, I guess. Get inside."

She glanced up and down the street as he slipped inside, and then shut the door with a snap and led him up the stairs to her tiny apartment.


	2. Feeding Time

**A/N: No reviews but imma write this anyways. Come on guys, give me some love! I know you're lurking, give me a sign! Little summary – Loki doesn't get human food. Especially not the main food of New York Midgardians - takeaway. Enter stage right, Dee-Dee, who's going to give him a lesson on eating like a normal person. This should probably come after 'The Name Game' (a new one that I've written already) but I'll put this one up first and have fun watching you guys trying to work out the time line (hint: Loki's been there for two months).**

**Please review, I'm dying over here. Have mercy darlings. And have fun reading!**

Dee-Dee rolled over and grabbed her phone from the dresser. The screen lit up the darkness and showed her obligingly that it was 3.45 in the morning. So why the actual fuck was Loki up and in the kitchen!?

Blearily rubbing her eyes, Dee-Dee sat up and stumbled out of her room, hitting her knees on everything and stubbing her toe. Growling, she switched the light on to find Loki sitting on the kitchen counter, rooting through the food cupboard. Guiltily, he put the pot of Nutella, the marmalade and the oat cakes back on the shelf and turned his fuming, sleep-deprived room mate.

"What..." said Dee-Dee slowly, gritting her teeth, "Are you doing?"

"I was hungry."

"Well, if you're hungry, why didn't you eat when I did?"

"You were eating...that horrible flat bread thing..."

Dee-Dee took a deep breath. "Pizza?"

Loki shuddered. "Yes. _Pizza. _How do you _eat_ _that_?"

"Because it's nice. Cheesy, warm, salty, full of fat. That's why."

"It's disgusting. Why can't you eat real food?"

"Like what!?"

"Like chicken. Or...what was it? Beef."

"Well, that would be because I can't afford five star Asgardian style meals, _Prince _Loki," spat Dee-Dee. Loki gave her a sour look. "Oh...shut up."

Dee-Dee snickered. "Great come back. Now go the fuck to sleep, asshat. We'll talk about feeding you in the morning."

She turned away and heard the faint scraping of something being taken from the cupboard and the cutlery draw being opened. Then the clatter of metal on metal. She glanced over her shoulder; "And if I catch you eating the Nutella from the jar, I will castrate you."

The jar was gingerly put back.

The next morning, Loki was sulking. Dee-Dee rolled her eyes and flounced past him as he sat in her spot on the couch, knees drawn up to his chin, scowling as he watched the television.

"Do you want to come out with me? Go get some fresh air when I'm in class and have lunch with me or something?"

Silence.

"OK. You go right on ahead and act like a child, o mighty God of Mischief, rightful King of Asgard. There's Sunny D and bagels in the fridge if you get hungry. Bye!"

The door slammed behind her, but Loki could still hear her singing some ghastly Midgardian show tune as she bounced down the stairs. His scowl deepened.

When she came back at 4.25, Loki was climbing up the walls with boredom and hunger, full of remorse for his behaviour. He practically begged her for food and entertainment and was pleased when she waved the new DVD she'd bought triumphantly in the air. And then produced tonight's meal: Chinese. Loki groaned loudly and slumped face down into the couch with despair.

Dee-Dee cackled with laughter. "Haha! Come on, you, it's not that bad. Sit up and eat. Or you know, just starve for another night..."

Loki sat up slowly, dark curls sticking up everywhere. "I hate you," he pouted, "I hate this place, I hate every pathetic human being on this pitiful rock, and if I had my powers back I would raze it to the ground."

"Aw, come on, you don't mean that. Just try it, you might like it."

She unpacked the noodles, the chopsticks, the sauce and, to Loki, what looked like every damn ounce of strange, disgusting material on this forsaken planet.

He pulled a face as she sat down beside him on the couch and passed him his portion and a pair of chopsticks. Then she got the DVD set up – that sci-fi film she'd been promising to show him for ages – and settled, cross-legged, on her favourite spot.

After fumbling with the chopsticks for five minutes as Loki watched her with a sour expression, she mumbled, "Ah, fuck it," and got up to find a fork. Loki set down the food firmly and turned his attention to the screen, where some form of space-ship was getting blown to bits. A woman was giving birth and there was a great black squid-like thing hanging in the sky. It all looked very hectic.

"Oi, twatmobile." A fork hit him on the back of the head.

Dee-Dee bounced back down on the couch with a wide, dumb, intensely irritating grin. Loki counted slowly to ten and reminded himself just why he shouldn't strangle this girl.

They watched the film in silence for a few minutes, Dee-Dee eating, Loki tapping his fingers on his knee and praying she wouldn't notice that he hadn't touched the noodles.

She noticed.

"Hey, come on, dude. Play ball with me here." She grabbed the noodles and Loki's fork. "I've had enough of this fuckery. You're gonna eat this."

"No."

"Yes. Open wide."

"Dee-Dee –"

"I spent good money on this you arrogant prick. Either you open wide or you starve forever."

And that was the story of how Loki ended up being spoon-fed cold sesame noodles by his room mate.


	3. The Name Game

**A/N: Omigosh, reviews! *cries with happiness* and good reviews too, you guys have made my day so I'm posting 'The Name Game' to say thank you very much indeed. This will also explain why she was Ariadne in the first one and Dee-Dee in the second xD As usual, here's little summary: The human hormones have struck and Dee-Dee's in a pretty fierce mood, not helped by Loki calling her by her hated first name and constantly pestering her for freedom. When they both get locked in the apartment, things take a turn for the worse – if Loki can't work out her problem, they'll drive each other to insanity.**

**Have fun reading and, as always, give me more reviews to keep up my pathetically good mood.**

Ariadne Barton was sick and tired of life in general. On top of snarky lecturers, tough assignments, very little food and lack of sleep, she also had a grumpy, power-less God of Mischief in the spare bedroom, and he insisted on calling her by her full name. Every time he opened his mouth in the last two weeks, Dee-Dee had felt a strong wave of irritation and had to punch a pillow. Right now, she was contemplating throwing herself off the top of the Chrysler Building, or a similar tall structure.

Her full name was hated strongly because: A, it was the name her absent-without-leave father had given her, and insisted on calling her

B, it was dumb and flouncy and girly and basically everything Dee-Dee hated

C, it was way too long and often got spelt wrong.

"Ariadne..."

Screaming internally, Dee-Dee turned to Loki.

"What?"

"Since you've assured me several times that I now look 'normal' and there isn't anything else to do in this tiny apartment, are you sure I couldn't just go outside for five minutes?"

"We've had this conversation a thousand times. You will suck at blending in and will be discovered in under 2.5 seconds. I thought you were staying here to _hide, _not expose yourself completely."

"I'll be _fine._ I'm practically dying of boredom here."

"How will you defend yourself if S.H.E.I.L.D. finds you, huh? You used up the last of your mojo changing your appearance, remember?"

"Ariadne, I...I'm begging you. Please. I have never begged in my life, but here. I'm begging now. _Please _let me go outside."

"How about...NO."

"You're _impossible!"_

"And you're an insensitive, moronic, irritating douchebag!"

"Well, _fine! _I'll just sit here in this flat until the end of time, shall I?"

"You do that! I'll go to my stupid college and learn zero because I haven't slept in two weeks, because I've been up all night worrying about what's going to happen when my dad inevitably comes to visit and finds _you _holed up here!"

With that, Dee-Dee grabbed her bag and flounced out.

Dee-Dee went to bed that night still fuming, head full of things she _could _have said, but _didn't. _She didn't get any sleep that night, either, and the next morning she was even grumpier if possible. Loki stayed quiet and as far out of her way as possible in the four-roomed flat, letting her in the bathroom first and keeping to his room until she was safely on her way to college. Loki never thought he'd be scared of the little Midgardian girl, but it was always a good idea to tread carefully around an angry dragon.

He spent the day trying to work out how to appease her and get his freedom. He knew he wouldn't persuade her with words, so what?

He still didn't know why she was angry all the time. He'd only asked. He'd asked a lot, admittedly, but that was no excuse for shouting at him like that. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he was hurt.

The next day was tense. Since it was the weekend, Dee-Dee didn't have anywhere better to be, and the flat seemed to have shrunk over night. They were in each other's way all of the time, snapping and snarling at each other until Dee-Dee couldn't take it any longer. She couldn't take the tension you could cut with a knife, and Loki's big hurt eyes and his stupid face and his guilt-tripping comments. She went to open the door. And found that she couldn't.

"Damn it all to Hell," she muttered, searching in her pockets for her key.

"Hey! Where did you hide my key, asshole?" she asked Loki, squaring up to him.

"_Nowhere,"_ he said empathetically, "Why would I to keep _you _in?"

"I don't know, maybe to piss me off?"

"I definitely don't want to make you any more angry."

"Oh, shut it. Just give me it, I'm getting the fuck out of here."

"_I don't have it."_

"I don't believe you!"

"Listen, Ariadne, I swear to you I don't have it. If we're stuck here until we find it, we'd better co-operate and stop this stupid feud."

The use of her full name was the last straw.

"Oh my _God, _just close your mouth! I have _had _it with you!"

"Ariadne –"

"Nope! Just leave me alone!"

She slammed the door of her room shut.

Loki leant against her door. "Ariadne, I don't know how to make you happy. Please, just tell me what's wrong."

Something breakable slammed into the door and shattered. Loki jumped back.

"Okay, I'll just...leave you to cool down, then."

A few hours past and Loki didn't know what to do with himself. He tried to sit down and watch the television, but he didn't quite know how to work it without Ariadne to help him. He tried reading some of the books she had left around the flat, but he didn't understand most of the terms and she wasn't there to explain them. He didn't even try to play her music, he was so scared he'd break the contraption she seemed to use with such ease.

He went to her firmly closed bedroom door and sat down. "Ariadne?"

There was silence for a minute, and then a piece of paper slipped under the door. 'GO AWAY' it read in her messy handwriting.

"I can't. There's nothing to do. If you stay in there much longer I'll starve, I can't get food for myself. I'm stuck."

There was faint giggle from inside the bedroom.

"Don't laugh! This is serious problem."

There was silence for a few more minutes. Loki was content to sit and wait, knowing that she'd talk when she felt like it.

Finally, another piece of paper slid under the door. 'AM I BEING STUPID?'

"A little bit."

'SORRY.'

"It's alright. Can I ask...why are you so angry with me?"

'IT'S A STUPID REASON.'

"Tell me."

'NO.'

"You're acting like a child. No, worse. You're acting like me."

There was a long pause. Loki almost got up and left. And then –

"It's my name."

"What?"

"My stupid useless full name. Ariadne. I hate it and you won't stop using it."

"I didn't know. I'm...I'm...sorry. What do you like to be called?"

"...Dee-Dee."

"Alright, then. Dee-Dee, are you going to come out soon?"

The door opened. Loki, who had been sitting with his back resting on it, was propelled forwards.

"Oh! I'm sorry..."

"It's fine," he said quickly, getting up.

"Um..." sheepishly, Dee-Dee held out her open hand, palm up. "I found my key."

"Oh."

"Sorry for blaming you...I overreacted."

"It's...it's fine."

"Yeah. Um, now that we can go out, do you want to...go out, get something to eat?"

A wide grin spread across Loki's face. "I thought you'd never ask."


	4. Appearances Are Everything

**A/N: Sorry for the long break! I'm back doing that 'school' thing (whatever that is), so finding time to write has been tough. But I'm back now with 'Appearances Are Everything' so yay! It's pretty short because of reasons, but it's really just a little filler before I bring out the big guns in the next chapter. Have fun reading, and please pretty please review! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers. I think that pretty much sums up my sad life.**

Having a super villain, mass murdering, super powered maniac in the flat was never going to feel normal, Dee-Dee reflected. But she hadn't imagined it would feel quite as 'not normal' as it really did.

It was probably the 'Lord of the Rings' style leather armour and gold horns, she thought, although since he'd lost the horns (and the green cape) now, he looked a bit more...well. A bit less ridiculous, let's say.

"Dude. If we're gonna be in this apartment together for the foreseeable...you are not going to be wearing that. Also you're gonna need a haircut."

Loki, who was glancing around her cramped, messy apartment with a look on his face that suggested he was supremely unimpressed, shot her a glare.

"And what do you suggest I wear?"

"I don't know? Can't you do that whole 'outfit change' thing?"

Loki gritted his teeth in frustration. "If it's all the same to you, I'd rather conserve what little power I have so that I can _get out of here. _Also, I don't see how a little, insignificant mortal like yourself can possibly order me to do anything."

"Excuse you. Less of the little and insignificant. And it is kind of, you know, _my apartment. _I am letting you hide out here out of the goodness of my heart. So mind your manners and do what I say."

"You little..." He took a deep breath, glaring at her. "I could kill you right now if I wished."

"Oh yeah?" She squared up to him, hands on hips, drawing herself up to her full height. Which, admittedly, wasn't very impressive. "How do you plan on doing that, without your powers or your pointy blue lightsabre thingy? You gonna monologue me to death?"

Loki groaned. "I have never met a Midgardian as irritating as you."

"Or as right as me."

" Why do I even need to change what I look like?"

"You'll get recognised on the spot if you go out dressed like that. S.H.I.E.L.D. will swoop in, and before you can say 'Oh shit, Dee-Dee was right,' you'll be back on Asgard, in a cell."

"...I suppose..."

"Go on. Say it."

"Fine. _Fine. _You are...right."

"There, see, you didn't explode. Now let's get you looking like a normal person, instead of like Legolas."

Five minutes later, Loki was still refusing to go past 'evil Wall Street banker."

"No."

"Yes!"

"You still look weird."

"I look human..."

"Evil human, maybe. And people are gonna recognise you from that thing in Germany."

"I...I don't have the power to change again."

"Liar, you've got the juice for at least one go. Come on, it's not that awful. You've seen guys wearing normal stuff before, you can use that to work it out."

"You are just...just...impossible!"

"That's what they tell me. Now, change."

"Leave me alone..."

"I'll lean on this door and never let you out until you look like a normal person."

There was silence from inside the spare bedroom.

"Loki?"

"OK, I changed. I look like a pathetic mortal. Let me out now."

"You'd better be telling the truth..."

The door opened and Dee-Dee forced herself not to fall over in surprise. Very pleasant surprise.

"So, do I meet your standards?"

Dee-Dee took in the dark curls, dark grey t-shirt, black leather jacket, dark blue jeans and navy Converse with increasingly wide eyes. Loki looked back at her, obviously unaware of the fact that the shirt clung to his abs in a distractingly nice way, or that his hair made Dee-Dee want to grab his head and just run her hands through the dark brown curls forever, or that it made the swirls of blue and green in his wide, appealing gray eyes stand out like bright lights, or that...

"Um. Yeah. You'll do."

Hiding her blushes, Dee-Dee turned away from him.

Well, this was certainly an interesting development.


End file.
